I grew up going to the beach. The love of the sand and sea seemed ingrained into my DNA. My family spent their summers by the shore and I was like a fish! The joy I felt when we arrived at the beach, is hard to explain. The feeling of freedom as I ran into the waves each time was seen in the smile across my face. That was my happy place. It was hard to get me to come out of the water when it was time to go home.
As I stood on the beach that first day of vacation I thought back to a time when I was about five. I was negotiating with my mother about staying in the water longer. We had been there all day and it was time to head home. She very patiently talked me out of the water by simply explaining it was time to go home and we would come back soon. I didn't come out right away, but her explanation seemed fair and I slowly made my way back to my towel.
This thought brought me to another memory. It was the reason why I wasn't sure, this present day, just how far I wanted to go out into the water, if at all.
My mother died when I was six, leaving my father a single man, trying to raise a six year old girl. He didn't like to 'negotiate' patiently the way my mother had. I was a bit of a strong willed child. On several occasions, when it was time to leave the beach and I began my negotiating, my father would utilize a tactic he felt would solve the problem. He simply told me there were sharks in the water that would eat me or that the waves were so strong they would pull me out to sea. He didn't of course consider the ramifications saying that might have on a six year old girl and her future desire to swim. Those possibilities had never occurred to me before. As strong willed as I was, these possibilities scared me, and so my relationship with the ocean began to change. I no longer ran in as soon as we arrived. I would sometimes sit on my towel in contemplation. Were the waves too high? Did I see any sharks?
My present day thoughts of this memory were distracted by laughter coming from the waves in front of me. It was my daughter, son and husband swimming in the sea. They were out in fairly deep water, riding the choppy waves and thoroughly enjoying themselves. I smiled to myself. My children have never feared the ocean. I made sure to never use fear tactics in coaxing them out of the water.
So here I stood at the edge of the beach, a grown, rational woman contemplating waves, currents and sea life. "Come on in!" my family shouted from the waves. "It's a little rough...but the water is great!"
"I will...just give me a minute!" I said, as a large piece of seaweed swept past my leg. I do eventually go in (most of the time) but each time I have to work through it.
This all made me think of life in this context. How we can become paralyzed by the actions of people in our past. How we can claim fear instead of faith. How instead of moving forward and diving into life or the ocean with enthusiasm and joy, we sometimes get caught up in the 'what if's'.
We focus on all that could go wrong instead of the joy that might be had. We live a life of worse case scenarios and trepidation. We see obstacles instead of possibilities and we stand paralyzed at the shore line, while life...beautiful life, moves like the tide!
This wasn't who God created me to be. It made me think of the disciples in the boat that was on the water in a storm and how afraid they were
Jesus said “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?”
Matthew 8:26.
and Peter, while walking on water starting to sink.
But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.”
Matthew 14:30
With those thoughts I focused on the waves in front of me. I didn't want to be controlled by fear. I was tired of the 'what if's'. I looked out at the choppy waves and dove straight for them! I swam out to my family and began to ride the waves. The choppy water pushed me around as I rode the waves to shore and swam back out again. The joy in my heart wasn't just about enjoying a beautiful day at the beach, it was about celebrating a victory. A victory over fear!
What is your obstacle? When was the last time you stood at the edge of the figurative shoreline of your life, feeling afraid? What is it that puts fear in your heart instead of faith? Think of these scriptures when you are facing an obstacle....
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
John 16:33 - These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world
Psalms 27:1 - The LORD [is] my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD [is] the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
It's hard to take away some memories from our past and move forward. I'm a grown woman still working through a childhood perception. I'm not saying from this point on I'll be running into the water like the little girl of my past. I am saying that each time I go to the beach I have an opportunity to overcome. To face my past fears. What strengthens me is knowing I'm not working through it alone. Jesus was in the boat with the disciples. He was in the water with Peter. He was at the shoreline with me, whispering His gentle reminder to have faith.
To dive in! Swim! Live life!
-Patti
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