My life as a Seeker

I've been thinking about this post for a while now.  The last time I posted seems so long ago, yet it was really only months. The other day I read through my blog, going all the way back to the beginning. It was like watching an evolution of sorts. A growth. A spark slowly turning into a flame. I may be the only person who see's it,  as I read my thoughts through the years, but it's there.  A process working in me.  An almost curiosity turning into a genuine pursuit. Who was I curious about? Who was I pursuing?     God.      

My journey to get to know God has come through reflecting on my experiences with him. The places in my life that I have felt his presence. The times when I know it was his grace alone that carried me. It has also been through the promptings to move forward and take a step closer to him. The funny thing about God is, that he doesn't let you 'bask' too long in the glory of your past and present experiences.  He beckons you to keep moving. My blog has been a basking time of sorts, to recount my progress thus far in this walk of faith. To think fondly back on Gods grace in my life. To recount my moments of stumbling and to give thanks for his gentle guidance along the way.  A better title for my blog might be "My life as a seeker".

Six months ago God made it clear that there was much more to be done. This life is not for simply basking in our personal relationship with God, but about grabbing the hands of those around us and making an introduction. Building relationship. Did you ever go to a party or event and the person you're with meets up with this other person that they know and they proceed to have a great conversation but all the while they never stop to introduce you?

 The thought didn't make sense to me at first. 'You're a bridge'.   That was the thought that kept falling on my heart. I'm a bridge. To what? To Whom? To where?      To God. But it wasn't just that.  It was the thought that WE are ALL bridges through our words, actions and lives. We are all responsible for introducing the people around us to this most amazing acquaintance! The gentle pull that I had been feeling for so long became more evident. It came to be what I now understand as 'calling'.  I felt a pull to go to Seminary and a calling to introduce others to God.

In one of my first papers I explain it like this;

The definition of calling in noun form is seen as loud shouts or cries, or a strong urge towards a particular way of life. In verb form it is to cry out to someone, or to summoned or attract their attention.  Gods urging for me to move towards him brought me on a quest for truth.  I have always been one to ask “why” before ever following something blindly.   The start of my Christianity began with a third person role.  I observed God in the lives of others as I learned about many of the popular Biblical stories often passed down in Christian families.  The stories of Noah, Daniel and Jesus come to mind as foundations for my religious education early on.  Gods call on them was obvious, but not yet relatable in any way to my own purpose in life.  I had a very ‘detached’ understanding of God, faith and religion as it related to me.  Much like the reference to C.S. Lewis in the book “The Call” by Oz Guiness, it wasn’t until my early youth that I felt “God closed in on me”, as Lewis states.   It was then that my faith took on a first person role and I became a seeker.  

That's who I had been in my pursuit of knowing God, but I was restless. I felt an obligation.             My paper continues;

Coming to those conclusions and realizations caused a new restlessness within.  This restlessness is to share all I have come to understand with others.  As soon as I began to live in the first person with my faith and understand my own personal commitment to Christ and his relentless love for me, I also felt something else.  I felt an obligation because of my love for him.  The part of scripture which I best identify with in regard to that feeling is in John 21:17 where Jesus asks Peter to “feed my sheep”.  It is in that scripture that I find the answer to my original question: “What is my purpose in this world?”  The love I feel for God in the act of serving, culminates to an understanding that I am not to simply bask in the enjoyment of my journey, but to help lead others in theirs. 

In one of my first seminary books called "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster, Foster states “The cross-life is the life of freely accepted servant hood.  The question of “who will I be when I grow up?” becomes the statement “I am a child of God”. With that statement comes the understanding that we are all called by God to live on his behalf and to model his son Jesus in a new way of living.  To live in a spirit of joyful service to each other is to identify with Christ beyond that of which any church service or denomination can provide.  Understanding that there is so much more than the stand, sit, kneel of Christian faith.  We have cause to celebrate as Paul calls us to in Phil 4:4 when he says “Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice”.  Foster notes in Chapter 13 that, “The spirit of celebration will not be in us until we have learned to be careful for nothing”.  With that said, I want my life to be a celebration of my journey with Christ, where all are invited and introduced.  
My pilgrim path has brought me many answers and several questions as I seek God on a daily basis.  The answers I have developed  have helped me to have a better understanding in the way I am to fulfill the mission to which I am called.  The journey that I have mapped out in this blog is that of my perpetual life as a seeker and my progress thus far. The difference between the beginning of my journey and where I am today is that I know to whom I seek and why.  I seek to know God in order that I may have a personal relationship with him, and an understanding that he first sought me.  It has been through this continual quest and understanding that I have also learned that there is a responsibility involved in becoming a follower of Christ.  There are people in all stages of travel in this Christian quest.  My journey has given me an understanding and compassion for those people still standing off the path not knowing if they should jump in or not.  I go to Seminary for a deeper understanding of scripture, faith and Biblical significance.  My hope is to utilize my journey and acquired theological education to help those people on the side of the path feel the joy that I have found in Christ.  

 The word calling then becomes so much more than a word or a definition.  It is a way of life defined by a divine prompting.  It is an inborn prompting, that can’t be earned.  It is an inheritance that comes from being a child of God.  How we each choose to spend our inheritance is different but Gods hope for us all is the same.  I choose to spend my inheritance seeking God’s direction and encouraging others to do the same.  Will you join me?

~Patti